Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Naughty Bloggy Friends!

Hey, Bloggy Friends. Welcome to Time-Warp Tuesday!

I really enjoyed reading all of your comments on my post yesterday. I was shocked to see how many of us had been whipped in school for being naughty. Some of you rascals were even whipped more than once! After I was paddled, I remember being so afraid that my parents would find out and punish me. I kept it from them, and prayed my teacher would never tell. My Mom was one of the homeroom mothers, so she would come to my class quite often. I would shiver in my Nike Air Jordans anytime she'd walk in. I guess the teacher never told her, though, because I never got in trouble.

Since today is Time-Warp Tuesday, I thought I'd take the opportunity to expand on another funny situation that nearly caused me to get another paddling. It all happened on a rainy day that very same year. We weren't able to go outside for recess, so our teacher, Ms. Matlock, let us have "playtime" in the classroom. We were all scattered about the room in our little groups when my friend Crystal and I started to argue. I can't remember what the skirmish was about, but it led to her eventually taking my arm and pinching quite a plug out of it! I was in a lot of pain, but I wasn't about to let her walk away unscathed, so I reached forward and gave her a stinging pinch she'd never forget. My attack must have been a little worse than hers, because moments later she started to bawl. When Ms. Matlock saw there was a problem in the room she approached us to see what was happened. "He pinched me," Crystal cried.

"She pinched me first," I screamed before she had a chance to ask.

The whole class went silent as Ms. Matlock grabbed us both by the arms and led us into the hallway. On the way out she grabbed the paddle! "Oh no," I thought, "not again!" My bum was still stinging from the last blow.

Outside she asked us what had taken place. Crystal told her that I pinched her then held out her arm to show the gory evidence. In a strategic move I told the teacher something that I knew she couldn't whip me over. "Ms. Matock," I said nervously, "Crystal pinched me first and my Daddy told me whenever somebody picks on me I have to stand up for myself and fight back." In my mind I knew she could never punish me for something my father told me to do - and I got off scotch free! Right then and there Ms. Matlock bent Crystal over and gave her a whop I can still hear to this day. I felt kind of bad, but at least I wouldn't have to agonize over another paddling. I walked away feeling pretty smart!

A few years later paddling would actually be banned throughout the country. I believe Kentucky was one of the last states to implement that policy - so for me it came a little too late!

I hope you all have a great night. Thanks for all the great comments. I adore hearing your stories - so keep them coming!

Love, Josh the Pincher!

This is a picture of me and some friends at my 10th birthday party in that very same year (1988). Can you guess which one is Me? Can you spot my brother, Derek?


Anonymous said...

I don't have a lot of clearly-recalled stories from school. I know in like 5th garde (or 4th?) my mother bought me this black "fur" coat. It looked like a mink, unsuitable for a kid at all! Even had a matching fur hat. That's all I needed to affect the Zsa-Zsa Gabor thing. Of course the kids made fun of the Superfag, and I told them my father was dead. That seemed to awe them all into this realistic empathy. They left me alone. They were actually sorry for me.

In 5th grade, I still could not tell time. My childhood was not anyone's ... priority.

I had a criush on a boy named "Teddy" on fell getting on the bus one morning and who thre himself on the floor in 1st grade crying about ... (something).

He was hot.

Anonymous said...

In the photo, you're holding a cup, and Derek is (?) directly in front of the tall girl with the blue pullover.

Rick Watson said...

Gurrrl! The Pincher!!!! haaaaa

Well, I have another story... I didn't get paddled, but I did have to stand face first in a corner! I was so scared! This black girl named Arlene and I were in 3rd grade in Mrs Corbin's class. We giggled all the time! I always got along with the black girls for some reason and still do! Anyway.... she and I were making loud farting noises by blowing on our arm!!! So, of course we both got called out and I had to stand in the corner and if I remember correctly the teacher took Arlene outside in the hallway to give her a good talking-to! We also had this dance we would do called "Here Comes the Judge"! It was sort of skip, scoot, hop kind of thing, like Madonna in her "Don't Tell Me" video! Girrrl, we were workin it in 3rd grade!!

Yes, I see you with the cocktail in hand and Derek...??? with the cap???

Casey said...

I'm with Bill on the guess of you guys. I'm convinced you have the cup, I'm guessing D is in front of the blue shirt girl b/c he looks like you & appears a couple of years younger.

Ahh... I may have gotten at least 2 other people paddlings.

Again in 1st grade, I was in the bathroom alone in the middle of class when a 3rd grader also came in. He asked if my brother was xxx (they were in the same grade). I said yes & he immediately sucker-punched me in the stomach & ran. I went crying back to my class, my teacher made me go to the other room & point out who did it (pretty good evidence when there are only 2 people with a hall pass) & there ya go.

The second time was in 4th grade when a classmate didnt want to sit beside me at an assembly b/c he said I 'was gay.' I didnt really know what it meant, but of course it hurt my feelings b/c I knew it was bad and he got a paddling. My teacher actually gave me the option for her to do it or not, and I said no, but she did it anyway!