Friday, September 26, 2008

The Weekender: Flip-Flop, Mom & Pop Friday!

Good Friday, Bloggy Friends!

Are you excited Friday is here? I am. I've had a nice week, but it's always good to get away from campus for a few days straight.

I have a pretty eventful weekend coming up. Alan's parents flew in yesterday evening from Knoxville. I will meet them Saturday for the first time ever! Alan recently "came out" to them, when he found out they were coming for a visit. Until now, they have barely known I existed. I'm a little nervous, because I don't believe they are completely comfortable with the whole situation just yet. I'm looking forward to it, though. We plan on having dinner Saturday night and then we will celebrate Alan's mother's birthday on Sunday at his aunt Jude's. I'll let you know how everything turns out!

It looks like we still don't know if there will be a debate tonight. For all we know Obama will be taking the stage alone. McCain says he will not show up unless a firm plan has been established for the economy. The whole crisis does seem to be getting worse. I'm shocked at how quickly these banks are folding, day after day. I don't know what's in store for our country, but I hope the new bailout plan will benefit us all in some way and not just the big banks who have made unwise, financial decisions. It would be nice if the government decided to wipe away our student loans! I'm not sure how that could really help, though. It does seem as if things will be changing. Years of excess spending has put us in a great deal of jeopardy. Perhaps the crisis is exactly what we need to get back on a more even track - that and a Democratic President!

Well, I should run for now. I'm leaving for school soon. I'm having one of those mornings where I don't feel like showering. I think I'll throw on a hat and hit the train just like this! The sky is pretty overcast, so waking up is hard to do! Be sure to check back tomorrow when I will begin my new bloggy series, Soul-Sister Saturdays. The purpose of this new venture is to shine a light on some of the more obscure, female, soul singers and to share some of the music I have collected over the years. I love soul music and I love the women who sing it, so I am very excited to get it started! Come by tomorrow to learn about the first soul-sister in my series, Ann Peebles. You might even win a prize!

See you then!

Love, Josh


Anonymous said...

LONG REPLY. Get glass of wine now.

I was just wondering about your cats last night. Glad to see the photo here.

Yes! Looking forward to Soul Sis Saturdays! Anxious to learn more about them. Can hardly wait!

Listen, easy with Alan's parents and that whole thing, huh? It's cautious good judgment and Xanax time. This is difficult terrain and there is no black & white, so don't you be looking for "total victory" or a big positive wrap-up of total peace and harmony. I know enough about you to sense you will want this to go perfectly. It may not, and you must accept the advances and grit your teeth for the set-backs.

My generation did not usually come out, and certainly not to the parents. Hello! My brother burst upon the music industry in 1973 as the "One True Fairy." Mom didn't want to know. She stopped speaking to Dawn, her best friend of 20 years, because Dawn dared to suggest Jobriath is a fag. (Hey, you're getting this before the biographers ... I'm being interviewed and filmed on Dec. 27 ... no kidding.)

Gary and I got together in 1991. I didn't exist for his family, except as a roomie and "friend," until the early 2000s. Funny b/c when I was that "friend," they were nicer. As it became slightly clearer I was Gary's mate, their enthusiasm waned. I was not in Gary's will until 2006!!!

(Does Alan read this? Does Gary?)

I think each gay relationship advances, is visible, is recognized, at different levels and in different ways. I don't think you can say "As a gay couple you ought to be here, or you ought to be at such-and-such a place by now ..." Things have improved, but we are still lucky to have as much as we do in the way of recognition. At the same time, it is criminal that we are not accorded more legal recognition.

I will be very nervous for you about this meeting. But I will be hoping that all will go much better than can be imagined. You are a lucky guy, and my hunch is you will do well.

In some ways it is better to dive in at the deep end (i.e., telling them Alan is gay, "forcing" them to recognize you as a couple). Gary and I - neither of us - ever made any announcements to either set of parents. His are both still alive (I think they are 126, or something).

Love - Bill.

Anonymous said...

Good luck with meeting his parents. You have such a warm personality and kind heart that I'm sure they will love you. It still may take some time though. I will be anxious to see what comes of this debate tonight. I'm just worried because finding a job here has been hopeless. It's really becoming quite scary for everyone. Take care and best of luck with everything.


TrainingtoTri said...

Oh wow you have a big weekend then! I will have my fingers crossed that everything goes smoothly. I'm sure they will love you, if not now, then with time. Who can resist you, you're fabulous!

Anonymous said...

I don't know but Bill but I loved what he wrote. He is very much on Target and I feel somewhat connected to the story. He has good insight on this situation. Good luck and we will be thinking about you and wishing the best.

Rick Watson said...

Josh! Lot's going on this weekend. I've known you and Alan for years now and was always disappointed that both of you weren't completely out with you families. Josh, I know you have managed to conquer that hurdle and move one. It appears your family has adjusted very well. I'm happy for you.

Alan, on the other hand, I think is coming from a whole different situation. I think his family is much different from yours and his relationship is another dynamic. There are just different personalities going on here with Alan and family. In addition, isn't Alan an only child? That's a big factor too.
I'm proud of Alan's reaching this point with his parent's. I think they will be very uncomfortable and confused and have tons of questions in the beginning. However, I don't think they will feel comfortable enough to ask these questions of you. I'm anticipating, in this case, that Alan's parents will need some time to adjust. I don't think they will be malicious or nasty, but I think they will be distant and just simply need time. I agree with Bill in that you should tread the waters very gently. On the other hand, DO NOT short yourself! Let them know you are proud of your relationship and that it belongs to YOU and ALAN. They will know it's not going to change. They will know they will have to adjust. They may never ever be comfortable with it, but you know, I think you all will reach a point where you get along no matter what. Although, they could surprise us all and just decide to let go and open their heart, open their arms, and open their minds, and just accept you for who you are. Let's hope that's the case!

I think there is a something in the picture you may not think about alot, but that something is Alan's aunt Jude. I think she will be the buffer needed in this situation. I think she will connect with Alan's parents on a whole different level. I think the results will be very beneficial to you all. You've grown to know Aunt Jude and I think she is going to be key factor in helping to make all this work.

Again, I want to say.... DO NOT short yourself here! Be strong and assertive, but not too assertive in that you induce more fear and tensity into the situation. Remember this is YOUR life and you're living it YOUR way no matter what. They can choose to adjust or not. Let them know you're available to them in whatever way to make this work. On the other hand (if the bitches get real nasty with you put them in their place!!! I know you will!) Noooo! I"m only kidding!

You'll be fine girl! And to Alan... Congrats on conquering the hurdle that I know you've been struggling with for a long time now. It's time to move forward for everyone involved! Keep me posted on how it goes!

All the best,

Casey said...

For the record, that kitty pic made me smile. Glad you have a puss around the house. Holding a warm, furry cat always makes one feel good.

You'll be fine on Saturday. I think you know how to handle the situation and that's just to be yourself. That was Hal's advice to me when I went to dinner with his parents for the first time. It's been smooth sailing for us.

I personally dont think you have any reason to be nervous and I'm not nervous for ya. I think it's more important to be yourself than to sanitize yourself too much just so "someone" will accept you--although I realize when it is your partner's parents, it's a little easier said than done.

I think it will be much better than some might think. You have my full confidence. Cant wait to hear about it.

Anonymous said...

Casey's message is nice. And I, too, have confidence in you. But I'd be a liar if I said I haven't been worried about this since his parents were first mentioned on your blog (might have been a year ago!).

It's a difference of perspective (plus Casey knows you better than I do).

Im a worrier. But, yeah, I believe in you too!!!!

Rick Watson said...

Gurl... my response is based on what I've learned from talking with Alan over the years regarding his individual relationship with his parents and the level of communication or lack thereof that exists.

I think the simple fact that it has taken so long for Alan to reach this point in his life has to be some sort of an indication that there are pre-existing deep-rooted issues involved here. Having said that... I don't think this is going to be a piece of cake for his parents. I don't mean to be negative, but these are the feelings I'm having. I hope I'm wrong.

Again... this is YOUR life, not theirs. It's not your responsibility to make them happy. They're responsible for that themselves!

You'll be fine girl! I could overnight you some xanies!!!... or maybe Alan could snatch some from the laboratories of Glaxo Smith-Kline!

Have a good weekend bitch! Hope classes are going well for you! Mine are moving right along!


tracie said...

good luck this weekend! i will be thinking of you and alan and hoping that things are as best as they can be!!!

it is funny, as i didn't get to read your blog till this afternoon but you were on my mind as i watched the debate.

i'm' sending positive thoughts your way hun! :)